THE SPACE PIMP RETURNS AND THIS TIME HE IS PIMPIN’ THEM ANDROIDS

Episode Title:  I, Mudd

Air Date: 11/3/1967

Written by Stephen Kandel and David Gerrold

Directed by Marc Daniels

Cast: William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk    Leonard Nimoy as Commander Spock             DeForest Kelley as Dr. Leonard H. McCoy AKA “Bones”              James Doohan  as Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott AKA “Scotty”        George Takei  as Lieutenant  Hikaru Sulu              Nichelle Nichols as Lieutenant Nyota Uhura          Eddie Paskey as Lieutenant Leslie                 Mike Howden as Lieutenant Rowe        Roger Holloway as Lieutenant Lemli                        Frank Da Vinci as Lieutenant Brent       Michael Zaslow as Ensign Jordan       Walter Koenig as Ensign Pavel Chekov                 Jeannie Malone as unnamed Yeoman       Bob Orrison as unnamed crewman                       Roger C. Carmel as Harry Mudd        Richard Tatro as Norman         Bill Blackburn as unnamed Android    Alyce Andrece as Alice #1 through 250    Rhae Andrece as Alice #251 through 500                  Ted LeGarde as Herman Series           Tom LeGarde as Herman Series          Colleen Thornton as Barbara Series         Maureen Thornton as Barbara Series         Starr Wilson as Maisie Series             Tamara Wilson as Maisie Series             Kay Elliot as Stella Mudd android         Bobby Bass as unnamed Android      Marlys Burdette as unnamed Android     

Ships: USS Enterprise NCC-1701

Planets:  Mudd

My Spoiler filled summary and review: The Enterprise has a new crew member, a lieutenant named Norman.   McCoy instantly is suspicious of him.  When Spock asks why McCoy explains that Norman is a human displaying typical Vulcan traits.  Spock concludes that McCoy is just being a bigot but it turns out McCoy’s bigotry is correct.  So I suppose the moral of the story so far is we should all bit more bigoted.

                Joking aside Norman does seize control of the auxiliary control room and changes the direction that the ship was heading.  When this is discovered on the bridge Mr. Sulu tries to override only to discover that the controls were jammed.  Kirk orders a security team down to the auxiliary control room where they find unconscious  personnel.   Kirk then calls a ship wide manhunt but Norman has already gotten down to engineering.  While there he overpowers Scotty and his entire team and continues his sabotage of the ship. 

Norman reveled

Captain Kirk is about to leave the bridge to join the hunt but Norman arrives first and stops him.  Noman proclaims that he has altered course of the ship and has sabotaged it so that that if they try to retake control the Enterprise will be destroyed.  Norman has a designation in mind for the ship and they will be going there.  Interesting enough that is not the strangest thing he does he revels to Kirk and Spock that is he is an artificial lifeform, an android.   This isn’t the first time they encountered and android so they are not weirded out by it just impressed with the level of sophistication in his design.  Norman decides to go into hibernate mode while the Enterprise goes to the planet he has selected.

They arrive at their destination and Norman wakes up to announce the plans for an away team consisting of the Captain, First Officer, Chief Medical Officer, Communications Officer, and Navigator.  Why those officers is never really explained.  I am going to comment in the additional thoughts section about the absence of Sulu.  Kirk refuses but Norman threatens to blow up their ship if there is no compliance, and he also says “please.”

Mudd the First

The away team transports down to the planet and when they get there Kirk comes face to face with the world’s ruler, a man he never thought to see again: Harry Mudd.  The last time Kirk saw him he had him arrested for trying catfish dilithium miners with drugged up women.  Not to mention operating a ship without a license, identity theft, and trying to blackmail a starship with its destruction. 

Turns out the man hasn’t changed a bit.  After escaping from his captivity with Starfleet he continued with his criminal career on a number of different planets going so far as to earn a death sentence on one.  While on the run he landed here, an uncharted world that he would name Mudd.  The planet was populated by these highly advanced and ancient androids whose makers came from the Andromeda Galaxy and had died out centuries ago. 

Mudd happy being Mudd

These androids were lost and without purpose so Mudd gave them a purpose by installing himself as their ruler.  He names the planet after himself and crowns himself Emperor as “Mudd the First.”  This goes to show you that Mudd has no idea how dynastical names work as he should be referring to himself as “Harcourt the First of House Mudd.”  Despite his limited imagination Mudd manages to fill the androids of planet Mudd with a new purpose.  They followed his instructions to create a few new series of androids that could operate as “fully functional” human females.   He had one special android made in the image of his abandoned wife Stella who, in Mudd’s view, used to nag him too much.  So the Stella android nags him until he tells her to “shut up” and she shuts off.  He shows this off to Kirk and his crew. 

Mudd's favorite thing to do!

  However Mudd has started to become bored with his life as a ruler of planet Mudd.  He is running out of things to have his androids to do.  So to make everyone on planet Mudd happy the petty Emperor ordered his androids to go out and capture a Federation Starship.  It was only luck of the draw that he got his old rival.  The androids will force everyone from the Enterprise down to the surface.  The main force of androids would remain to watch them as Mudd would take 400 androids and steal the Enterprise using her to run around the galaxy.  When Scotty is brought down by force Kirk is informed that this part of Mudd’s plan has been completed.

No match for Mr. Spock

Kirk is now facing two problems the first is his ship is under the control of androids but even worse is the gilded cage that they have been put in is so nice that several of his officers are enjoying their stay and those who are not but are tempted.  Kirk does get a minor victory when he confuses one of the Alice androids by referring to the Enterprise as his desire, and when she responds that the ship is a device not a desire he counters by calling the ship a beautiful lady.  Alice calls out to Norman and retreats.   Kirk and Spock note while there are many of each series there is only one Norman. 

"There is only one of me!"

Harry Mudd prepares to leave but ends up getting the shock of his life when his androids inform him that he isn’t going anywhere.  The androids while they were obeying Mudd were also studying him.  They came to the conclusion that humans, although intelligent creatures, were far too reckless and dangerous to be allowed to go about the universe unchecked.   Therefore Mudd will remain on planet Mudd with the crew of the Enterprise while the androids leave to conquer the Federation.

Well at least the scenery is nice! 

When asked how they attended to do that Norman simply explained that they would rule humanity by serving them.  They would take care of every need human beings had making humanity ultimately dependent on them.  People will be happy and under control.  It is a good plan but the androids don’t realize they are up against James T. Kirk, the Bane of all Artificial Intelligence.  Kirk quickly realizes that the androids expect them to make an escape attempt so he has McCoy drug Mudd and tell the androids that he is sick and they need to get back to the Enterprise to help him.   Lt. Uhura appears to betray her crewmates when she rats on Kirk’s plan to the androids.   This is however part of the Captain's plan to lure the androids into a false state of security. 

Kirk then launches a very well-choreographed performance with his senior crew and Harry Mudd.  In which they all ran around and acted so illogical that it caused the androids to go into a state of shock and shut down.   Once reactivated the androids of planet Mudd knew they were beat and surrendered.  As the crew of the Enterprise was getting ready to depart, Mudd was informed that he had to remain.  Considering the eye candy of his designed androids he concluded that it wasn’t a bad sentence.  Until he found out about the personal android assigned to him.  The Stella android reprogrammed so that when he tells her to “shut up” her nagging doesn't stop but is instead joined by another Stella android.  There is up to 500 of them to Mudd’s horror.  Uhura gives Mudd a cute little wave as they walk off in victory.

Additional thoughts: As long as humanity could conceive of the concept of artificial intelligence and immediate fear arouse.  What would happen when the AI has surpassed us both in intellect and independence suddenly determines that we are no longer worth listening to?  Even worse suddenly decides we are a threat. 

Androids don't like it when we get crazy.

In the 1984 classic The Terminator the AI Skynet concludes that in its own self-interest humanity needs to be exterminated.  In The Matrix series the world wide AI reduces humanity to livestock.  In earlier episodes we saw Landru and Vaal had a type of paternalistic relationship with their humanoid population.  So it was rather refreshing to discover a race of androids bent on humanity’s domination with a strategy of “beat them with kindness.”  The plan is to conqueror humanity by tending to all their basic needs for them. The 2004 movie I, Robot had the same idea. (Giving the similar name of the movie and episode and giving the similar motivations of the AIs I thought that the original book by Isaak Azimov probably had the same plot so the name of the episode would be an allusion to that.  However it turns out the 2004 film took a number of different concepts from a number Azimov's works and put them into one movie.  The "I, Robot" title came from the story of an alleged robot murderer and the benevolent robot dictator came from the story came from "The Evitable Conflict.") 

   The only problem for this plan is time and place.  I think if the androids of planet Mudd landed on Earth in 1967 or 2020 that would be a successful strategy.   However in the time period of the Federation in the 23^rd century humanity has solved all their social ills and Earth is a paradise.  Every member of the crew on the Enterprise is there because they want to be the explorers of the universe.  McCoy and Scotty tell the androids that humans need pain and suffering in their life to truly be happy.  That might be true for their self-chosen exposure to certain types pain but for myself who is living in a world-wide pandemic I say bring on the androids. 

"Too much Happiness"

Where Sulu disappear to?  He was on the bridge but he wasn’t one of those invited down by Norman.  However why wasn’t he with Mr. Scott when the lovely lady androids grabbed the rest of the crew? I would have thought by then we would see him.  I know he is about to go on some leave time but apparently Mr. Takei’s real-life schedule must have called him away.

Chekov had a really good time on planet Mudd.  Being entertained by the lovely Alice androids programmed by the despicable Mr. Mudd, gave him a better time than being in Leningrad.  So sometime between now and 23^rd century St. Petersburg becomes Leningrad again and is such a nice place that it is comparable to a threesome with a beautiful set of twins.  No, wonder the young Ensign is always such a happy fellow.

A lucky Mr. Chekov

So what is the current state of the planet Mudd?  What happens to all the great androids we ran into?  Will they ever leave that place and participate with the wider Milky Way?  I don’t ever recall seeing them again.  That would be an interesting world to revisit.

FINAL GRADE 4 of 5

SOME GROW OLD AND A COMMODORE GROWS DUMB!

Episode Title:  The Deadly Years

Air Date: 9/22/1967

Written by David P. Harmon

Directed by Joseph Pevney

Cast: William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk    Leonard Nimoy as Commander Spock             DeForest Kelley as Dr. Leonard H. McCoy AKA “Bones”              James Doohan  as Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott AKA “Scotty”        George Takei  as Lieutenant  Hikaru Sulu              Nichelle Nichols as Lieutenant Nyota Uhura          Eddie Paskey as Lieutenant Leslie                 Bill Blackburn as Lieutenant Hadley     Beverly Washburn  as Lieutenant Arlene Galway        Roger Holloway as Lieutenant Lemli                        Majel Barrett as Nurse Christine Chapel          Frank Da Vinci as Lieutenant Brent       Walter Koenig as Ensign Pavel Chekov                 Carolyn Nelson as Yeoman Second Class Atkins                       Sarah Marshall as Dr. Janet Wallace               Charles Drake as Commodore Stocker                    Felix Locher as               Robert Johnson           Laura Wood as Elaine Johnson

Ships: USS Enterprise NCC-1701, three unnamed Romulan Birds of Prey

Planets:  Gamma Hydra IV

My Spoiler filled summary and review: This episode begins, as so many do, with the Enterprise beaming down a landing party to an alien world.  They are not however “boldly going where no man has gone before” instead they are just checking up on a scientific team already exploring the place.  There doesn’t seem to be anyone around.  Kirk noted that Professor Johnson seemed distracted when he spoke to him over the subspace channels.   Kirk orders the landing party, consisting of Spock, McCoy, Scotty, Chekov, and a lieutenant named Galway, to search the area and try to find the scientists.

And old man's dead body scared Chekov silly

                Chekov has the most luck.  He finds a dead body and it causes him to scream in terror.  He runs outside to tell the others about the dead body.   The rest of the party goes into the building examine the body, and McCoy determines that the man died due to the natural causes of old age.  Spock protests that it would be impossible as there was no one on the scientific expedition over 30.  Just then an elderly couple walks in.  The two people are not only physically frail but they are hard of hearing and their mental capacity seems to be limited.  The man identifies himself as Robert Johnson and his wife Elaine.  When asks for their ages the both identify in their late 20s. 

A young couple

Back up on the Enterprise McCoy’s tests can’t explain what is causing the Johnsons and their team to age so rapidly.  In the senior officers meeting Kirk invited two individuals who they are performing taxi service to Starbase 10.  One is the new Starbase commander, Commodore Stocker, a career bureaucrat who managed to get up the ranks to achieve a starbase command.   The Commodore has an interest in getting to his post as soon as possible.  He often passive aggressively suggests going to Starbase 10 saying things like “the scientific labs on a Starbase are so much larger and nicer.  Maybe we should go there.”The second person is a medical researcher who happens to be an old romantic acquaintance of Captain Kirk, Dr. Janet Wallace.  Dr. Wallace we learn is also recently widowed. 

She is Kirk's ex-girlfriend. What a surprise!

    McCoy is unable to save the Johnsons.  As he dies Robert Johnson mutters how beautiful his wife was.   That might have been the end of it but it wasn’t for every member of the landing party, with exception to Mr. Chekov, started to come down with problems.  Lt. Galway starts to lose her hearing, McCoy starts to get grey hair, Kirk develops advanced arthritis, Scotty wrinkles like a prone, and even Mr. Spock is affected but as Vulcans age more slowly his deterioration is not as rapid. 

problems arise

  The aging also does not occur at the same rates.  Lt. Galway ages the fastest and ultimately dies.  McCoy and Scotty prune up real fast but for the most part remain mentally sharp.   Mr. Spock benefits from the fact Vulcans naturally aging slower, so even though he has shot up to over 100 physically he is the healthiest of the away team member, save Ensign Chekov.  In addition to his arthritis Kirk’s memory is starts to fail him. 

A rapidly ageing engineer!

Despite his condition McCoy works tirelessly for a cure, to the annoyance of Ensign Chekov who feels that Doctor has taken so many samples that he may run out.  Young Mr. Chekov does as he is told despite having seemly little displayed empathy.  McCoy had found nothing in the local environment to account for it.  Earlier Spock had noted a comet that had recently passed by.  Kirk had decided to have the ship take a look at.  When they find it they noticed that it gave off an odd type of radiation.  They found their source of the problem.  

Kirk's old age problems

Kirk’s memory problems start to become a huge issue for the ship.  He continues to give orders to Mr. Spock and Mr. Sulu then forgets that he gave them and issues the orders again.  Kirk demands his Yeoman give him documents that he has already signed.  Most dangerously he gave Lt. Uhura and order to use Code 2 in an important communication with Starfleet.  Earlier they had received a report from Starfleet intelligence informing them that the nearby Romulans have managed to crack Code 2.  He backs off after the Lieutenant reminds him. 

Does Chekov's body contain the cure?

The senior officers were going to simply work around Captain Kirk’s new and hopefully temporary disability.  In the first season episode “The Enemy Within” relieving the Captain even for a legitimate disability was established as having a strong negative effect on crew morale.  This has stuck me as strange but that is what we are told.  Commodore Stocker doesn’t agree and then confronts Mr. Spock.  Stocker tries to get Spock to assume command because, unlike the Captain, his condition isn’t compromising him.  Spock tells him that is not true and begins to list all the ways he is compromised.  The Commodore then reasons with Spock that if he is compromised then the Captain must be also and reminded him of regulation.  With that Spock agrees to hold the hearing.

Doctors comparing notes

During the hearing Captain Kirk is belligerent.  He thinks the whole thing is just a waste of time and cooked up by Commodore Stocker to get him to Starbase 10 sooner.  However while he is defending himself his condition becomes more apparent as he forgets important facts, such as what planet they orbit, mid-discussion.  The committee finds him impaired and relieves him of command.  Since both Mr. Spock and Mr. Scott have the same condition as Kirk, Commodore Stocker announces instead of allowing Lt. Sulu, a junior officer, to take command he pulls his rank as a flag officer and takes command himself.

Kirk's command challenged

Once Stocker assumes command it is clear the committee made a huge error.  Kirk’s failing memory would have served the crew far better than Stocker’s failing intelligence.  Despite having outwitted Spock earlier in the episode in order to get a hearing, the Commodore orders Mr. Sulu to head straight to Starbase 10.  When Sulu informs Stocker that such a course would take them right into the Romulan Neutral Zone, he says he understands that but he wants to get there as fast as he can.  Stocker reasons Romulans won’t mind, and if they show up he’ll talk to them.

In his condition still more qualified than the man in red!

When they get to the Romulan Neutral Zone, the Enterprise is surrounded by three Birds of Prey and fired upon.   The Commodore is convinced that all he has to do is talk to them and the Romulans will let them go, Uhura says she is still trying to raise them but Romulans aren't big on communicating.  Sulu backs her point explaining to the Commodore that they faced off against them before.  The Commodore concludes he has to surrender.  Chekov then reminds him that Romulans aren’t known for taking prisoners.

While the Commodore was flying the Enterprise to certain death so he could get to his new job on time, other things were going on in different areas of the ship.  First Dr. Wallace makes a pass at Kirk but Kirk rejects her because he thinks her advances are due to sympathy or an old man fetish he is not sure which.  Personally I think Kirk’s dementia is at it again.  In addition he joins McCoy and Spock to pick their brains to search for a cure.   When reminiscing about what happened on the planet they remembered Chekov screaming like a 5-year-old girl.  The screaming meant, according to McCoy, Chekov was terrified and full of adrenaline.  McCoy then remembers that in the 21^st century medical researchers were using increased does of adrenaline to treat radiation but it was abandoned when a better alternative was developed called hyronalin.   McCoy develops a theory that they could create a mixture of artificial adrenaline as a cure.  Spock and Dr. Wallace work on McCoy’s formula.  When finished they have something that will either cure or kill.  Kirk demands to be the first to try it so he can save the ship from the Commodore’s incompetence.   

Near death

They give Kirk the formula and he twists and turns but is ultimately cured.  He runs to the bridge with his youth restored.  As Kirk enters the bridge clearly physically all right the crew instantly follows his commands despite the fact he hasn’t been formally reinstated yet.  Kirk turns to Uhura and orders her to communicate in Code 2, this is concerning because Code 2 is the broken code that was also one the first hints of Kirk’s memory failing.  However Kirk is not failing now and he is using Code 2 on purpose realizing the Romulans are listening in.  He sends a message to Starfleet that they are all about to die so they will have to use the newly installed corbomite device so they better prevent any ships from entering this area of space for at least a year.  The Romulans pick up the message and back off, this allow the Enterprise to pull a surprise escape.  The moral of the story is there is not a single problem that old age inflicts that youth can’t cure.  

Additional thoughts: This was a very fun episode with all the actors turning in an amazing performance particularly William Shatner and DeForest Kelly.   The only thing that bothered me about the main plot was it’s finally resolution.  Mainly Chekov was immune because he was a coward who couldn’t be in a room a dead body.  This kind of insulting to Chekov’s character and Koenig himself described it as the writers as having him act like a child.  Also if fear pumping adrenaline is the cure wouldn’t both the away team and the lost science expedition have been cured the moment they noticed their bodies were aging rapidly? That would surly terrify me.  However terror apparently doesn’t do enough to beat back the disease for the already inflicted.  Still there is something of classic science fiction horror, of young explorers seeing this comet in the sky unaware it was going to bring death upon them.

Stupid place for a mirror

The Wallace/Kirk romance, in a Star Trek book I once read Dr. McCoy joked about how many old lady friends Kirk had and how funny it was that they all end up somehow on the Enterprise.   There comes a point in the episode where Kirk finds out that Wallace’s late husband was some twenty-five years older than she was.  Kirk then accuses of her of only being interested in old and dying men.  This pointless and adds nothing to the episode.  Wallace had already dated Kirk at one point and was already flirting with him before the symptoms started to manifest themselves.  If Kirk’s rejection is based on his own failing mental stability that is not made clear.

Bad plot point

Okay I really wanted to like Commodore Stocker.  He was so nice throughout most of the episode even his first challenge to Kirk’s command seems out of genuine compassion.  Then he goes and flies the ship straight into the Romulan Neutral Zone, because he wants to get to his new command earlier.  Granted he did state that the medical facilities are more advanced on Starbase 10, but come on.  I don’t buy “well he is desk officer and doesn’t know how to fly a ship.”  I have never been in the Navy but if suddenly found myself in command of one of their ships I think I would be smart enough not to sail into enemy waters just so I could get somewhere quicker.  In the end he and Kirk have buddy moment over the differences between starbases and starships.  I want to know why he isn’t in the brig facing charges. 

If I was Kirk or McCoy I would have thought that the aging illness would make me paranoid about growing older in the future.  I would always wonder if what happened to me then represented some kind of preview for myself in old age.  I guess McCoy can always monitor himself and Kirk has McCoy. 

Where the hell was McCoy’s staff?  He is the chief medical officer, so where the other medical officers?  The only one we saw was Nurse Chapel.  Now I know McCoy has other doctors working for him we saw one of them, who was also another one of Kirk’s exs, in “The Dagger of the Mind.”  If we can remember strategy from “The Corbomite Maneuver” then I fail to see why we can’t remember McCoy’s assistants.  Wallace and Spock had to mix the formula.  Wallace was a guest and Spock was a patient.  Dr. McCoy should not approve so much leave time in the future.

FINAL GRADE 4 of 5

LOOKING IN THE MIRROR

 Episode Title:  Mirror, Mirror

Air Date: 10/6/1967

Written by Jerome Bixby

Directed by Marc Daniels

Cast: William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk and Captain James T. Kirk        Leonard Nimoy as Commander Spock and  Commander Spock                        DeForest Kelley as Dr. Leonard H. McCoy AKA “Bones” and  Dr. Leonard H. McCoy            James Doohan  as Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott AKA “Scotty”  and Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott       George Takei  as Lieutenant  Hikaru Sulu and Lieutenant  Hikaru Sulu             Nichelle Nichols as Lieutenant Nyota Uhura and Lieutenant Nyota Uhura        John Winston as  Lieutenant Kyle and Lieutenant Kyle            Eddie Paskey as Lieutenant Leslie and  Lieutenant Leslie                Bill Blackburn as Lieutenant Hadley and Lieutenant Hadley         BarBara Luna as Lieutenant Marlena Moreau and Lieutenant Marlena  Moreau        Roger Holloway as Lt. Lemli and  Lt. Lemli                       Walter Koenig as Ensign Pavel Chekov and Ensign Pavel Chekov     Pete Kellett as Head of Kirk’s guard unnamed                Bobby Bass as unnamed imperial crewman          Bobby Clark as  unnamed imperial crewman          Johnny Mandell as  unnamed imperial crewman               Russ Peek as Spock's Vulcan Guard unnamed      Paul Prokop as unnamed imperial crewman                Vic Perrin as Tharn and Tharn        

Ships: USS Enterprise NCC-1701 and ISS Enterprise NCC-1701

Planets:  Halka and Halka

My Spoiler filled summary and review: Mostly I write these reviews by myself but today I have the opportunity, seeing that this is “Mirror, Mirror,” to work with my own mirror universe counterpart who I met after an accident involving my microwave.  (It turns out in the real world you can breach to the mirror universe using microwaves.)  We have agreed that each will cover the parts that take place in our respective universes.  We will both be offering commentary in the additional thoughts section.  Be warned I find my mirror self to kind of a creep but if you can’t get along with yourself who can you get along with in that universe? 

                The episode begins with Captain Kirk trying and failing to win a mining agreement with the Halkan High Council.  The Halkan are extreme pacifists and they are afraid that if they let the Federation mine dilithium crystals those crystals could be used for war.  Captain Kirk, along with his landing party of Dr. McCoy, Mr. Scott, and Lt. Uhura, has been trying to convince the High Council that their missions are peaceful.   The Halkans agree that Starfleet has peaceful intentions but their ships still carry weapons that can be used for war.  It would be a betrayal of their principals as a people to be party to any violence even if it was justified violence made in self-defense.

                While these negotiations have been going on a severe ion storm in space is playing havoc with the Enterprise’s equipment.  The Captain sees that these negotiations are going nowhere so he calls up to the ship to have the landing party beam back aboard.  As they are transported back to the ship something goes wrong.  Those transporting feel dizzy and the transporter room appears to change to them.

                I was looking forward to watching the Enterprise wipe out this pathetic group of loser pacifists, but when our most glorious Captain emerges from the transporter something is immediately wrong.  Kirk and the landing party seem confused that everyone is saluting him.  After Spock gives Kyle a taste of his agonizer for his gross incompetence with a transporter (it was so fun to see him cry and beg) the First Officer notices something is wrong with the Captain.  When he inquires Kirk confirms dizziness and will have Dr. McCoy check them out in sickbay.   

                

               When they get to sickbay we find out what is wrong.  These four are fakes!  They are duplicates from a parallel universe where Earth is run by peaceful weaklings and humans have no Terran Empire to dominate the galaxy with!  Yet in this universe of weaklings McCoy still manages to spill acid in the same place. The Fake Kirk wants to know what the Empire wants the real Kirk to do.  One thing is clear they want to stop the crew of the ISS Enterprise from carrying out their mission and destroying the cities of Halka.  They are doing this because their Federation teaches them that it is okay for lesser spices to deny them.  (As if that was the way any universe works.) He sends Fake Scott on assignment to sabotage the phaser units.  Little does he know that Mr. Sulu’s security doesn’t let anyone mess with the ship’s weapons.  

Mice in the uniforms of giants!

       

Of all the fakes, Lt. Uhura is the only one who seems like she is worth a damn.  The way she put Sulu in his place would sure make the real Uhura proud.  Then unfortunately the fake Kirk enters the bridge and everyone salutes thinking he is their great leader.   However the fake Kirk soon shows his weakness with dealing with the cowards on the surface.  Instead of reigning good Terran Imperial hell upon Halka he actually tries to prevent the Empire’s mission.  For those of us expecting to see worthless pacifists fry in this episode we were plenty disappointed.   I thought when the fake Scott couldn’t sabotage the engines the Halkans were done for. 

Showing proper respect to the Captain

For this action Chekov gathers some men to attempt to assassinate Kirk, he has been planning this for some time, but he doesn’t know this isn’t the real Kirk.  That should make it easier but Chekov is such a loser that he can’t kill this imposter.  Chekov gets captured by Kirk’s guard and one of his own men betrays him realizing what Kirk could do for his career.   At least fake Kirk handles that right: loyalty isn’t much when it comes late.  Speaking of this fake Kirk, he does give Captain’s logs at the strangest of times.  No mention where is he recording them, our Enterprise’s computer system?   Imperial auditors will have a field day with those reviews. 

The fakes all have a meeting in Kirk’s quarters. Since they aren’t smart enough to figure out things for themselves they have the computer do all the hard work of explaining how they got to our universe and how to get back to their own.  After they make plans to head back the fake Kirk and McCoy decide to do research on “themselves” and what is immediately obvious is that fake Kirk cannot deal with the real Kirk’s greatness.   They wonder about their own weak universe and how they will handle the great Terran warriors. 

Back in our sane Star Trek universe Mr. Spock has things well in hand.  All four crew members from the evil mirror universe are quickly placed in the brig.  The alternate Kirk tries to bribe Spock with money and power.  It is quite creepy to see a version of Captain Kirk who murdered his predecessor to gain his command. 

As fake Kirk witnesses that loser Chekov being justly tortured by the Captain’s Personal Guard, he is approached by our Mr. Spock.  Spock sees Kirk act weak by releasing Chekov from the full duration of “the Booth.”  Spock expresses his concerns about the Captain’s action in not following the Empire's righteous policy.  I liked the conversation between him and Spock, but I wish Spock were saying it to the real Kirk.

Spock thinking he is talking to his captain

Fake Kirk enters the Captain’s quarters and Lt. Marlena Moreau is there waiting for him.  Fake Kirk seems surprised because apparently this Kirk doesn’t sleep with women in his universe.  Kirk and Marlena have a bit of a lovers spat, which is pathetic as he is not the real Kirk.  Fake Kirk receives a call from Spock who informs him that Starfleet has ordered him to be executed if he doesn’t end his cowardice in three hours.  Marlena laughs as she observes that Spock was so loyal it will cost him his life.  Then Marlena explains to the fake Kirk the Tantalus field, the greatest weapon of Starfleet’s greatest captain.   Fake Kirk stops her from using it on Spock, which is the only good thing Fake Kirk does.   

Marlena goes to another room to change and Fake Kirk is contacted by Fake Scotty, Kirk tells him they have a three hour deadline and the chief engineer responds with actually a half an hour.   They have one shot to get home and if they miss it they’re done for.   For the first time I am cheering for the fakes I can’t stand to deal weakling characters anymore it is time to send them home. 

Sulu contacts Spock excited to get rid of Kirk who is now openly a coward.   It is too bad that Sulu doesn’t understand that this isn’t the real Kirk.  Spock blows Sulu off and the two exchange small threats.  Spock is however beginning to suspect that something is up beyond just Kirk disobeying orders.  He notices Kirk is not the only crew member behaving oddly, the strange behavior is displayed by almost every member of the landing party.  He also discovers that Kirk and Scotty are working together on a project in secret. 

Fake Kirk has never seen such beauty

The fake Scotty and McCoy are making their adjustments to the Enterprise’s systems in order to make their escape.  While they are doing this Uhura, the only fake worth anything, begins seducing Sulu so he won’t see what has happened.  When they are done she slaps him and uses her dagger to get away from him and off the bridge.  

The group of fakes meets up in sickbay but they are surprised by Mr. Spock.  The fakes may have the hearts of cowards but they can fight.  They manage to not only defeat Spock but seriously injure him in the process.  This is the price Spock pays for not bringing his Personal Guard and trying to solve everything himself.  I always knew he would pay for that one day but he is saved by his enemy’s weakness.  Realizing Spock will die unless they do something, they decide to risk returning home in order to save him. 

Sulu looking to take command

While the fakes are trying to save Spock, Sulu shows up with the security team looking to kill them all and make himself Captain of the Enterprise.  He might have succeeded if Marlena Moreau hadn’t chosen now to strike.  With his men disappearing into thin air the fakes take Mr. Sulu down easy.  The fake McCoy remains to take care of Spock while the others head to the transporter room. Marlena meets them there and lets them know that she is also a coward and wants to leave with them. Fake Kirk  tells her that is not possible for only the four can change places with their real selves.

Spock trading losers for warriors

 Spock wakes to fine that the fakes are weaklings who grant mercy.  He does a force meld on McCoy and the fake learns what a Spock interrogation feels like.  Spock cuts the power to the transporter which scares the fakes and the fake Scotty and Kirk argue of who should sacrifice himself to the stronger universe.  Mr. Spock arrives at the transporter to help the fakes leave our universe and get our heroes back.  Before he leaves fake Kirk gives a stupid speech, Mr. Spock tries to tell him his idea is dumb but gives up. 

Back home in our regular universe Kirk and McCoy muse with Spock listening that they may have preferred Spock with a beard.  They asked him how he was able to see through the doppelgangers and Spock says it was easier for the civilized to appear savage then the savage to appear civilized.  However he did feel that their counterparts represented at type of pure humanity that was most refreshing. 

Additional thoughts: Wow what an episode!  Sorry for those of you who don’t like my mirror universe self.  To be frank, I don’t like him either.  He is a piece of work and he will be back but I want to reflect on the episode myself and give everyone my thoughts.

Setting a Mr. Sulu for a fall

My first thought is about those wacky transporter accidents.  If there is a little thing wrong such as strange yellow dust the transporter it splits the Captain into two different people.  This time passing through an ion storm causes a malfunction that makes the away team gets transported into a parallel universe.  Not only do they get transported to the parallel universe but their clothes don’t, those still head home to their proper destination.  However, rather than leave them naked the away team is conveniently placed by the transporter into the clothes of their doppelgangers.  This also happens vise-versa.     

Mirror Spock sitting next to the throne

Speaking of clothes I really like the mirror universe uniforms they look really cool with their belts and ceremonial daggers.  Good idea having all their badges appear on the other side.  The women are really sexy, I don’t know if there is a man on this Earth who enjoys the exposed mid-rift on attractive woman more than myself.  It’s lot of skin but at the same time no naughty bits.  Uhura and Moreau are really rocking it.  

Wow!

We now have returned the same strange Captain’s Logs that we saw in “The Squire of Gothos” during the duel scene and almost all throughout “The Arena.”  “Excuse me Mr. Chekov before you assassinate me you will please allow a moment record my thoughts in a Captain’s Log?”  Also, as my counter-part pointed out, where is he recording these things, in the computer system of the ISS Enterprise?  Imperial Starfleet Command must have had quite the shock when they audit those logs.

"You want to get cut"

I have stated in the past that when I review these episodes I try not to take into consideration what comes later, because I want to review the episode in its own merits not judge what future writers add.  However I will note that I think it’s an absolute shame that Star Trek: The Next Generation never had a Mirror Universe episode.  There was of course there was that great book by Diane Duane, but really wish that had been a multi-part episode.  Episodes we do get in the later series are okay but most fail to truly embrace that magic that this episode provided.

What this episode gave us was not just the run of the mill parallel universe but a mirror universe.  However the mirror being used is not regular one but one from a fun-house.  In one universe humanity is united and peacefully co-exists with other worlds under the banner of The United Federation of Planets, where in the other humanity is still united but violently conquerors worlds into their oppressive Terran Empire.  Such differences and similarities that exist between the Federation and the Empire can’t be explained by simple alternate history.

For example when a drugged up Dr. McCoy accidentally goes back in time in “The City on the Edge of Forever” he alters history in such a way that the landing party near the Guardian of Forever is marooned as the universe around them changes.  In the universe where Hitler won World War II there was a never Federation, Starfleet, or starship Enterprise.  Yet in mirror universe although everything is different everything is also the same.  Captain Kirk is still the Captain of the Enterprise, Mr. Spock is the first officer, and McCoy, Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura are all in the same positions in both realities. There is a slight change with Mr. Sulu as having the additional job of being head of the ship’s Gestapo.  However even the transporter chief is the same and Captain Kirk’s predecessor on both universes is Captain Pike.  Also both Pike’s careers meet rather violent ends, although ours doesn’t die.

Besides people there are other things.  Scotty notices that in both universes the Enterprise has the same level of technology; the only difference is the mirror Kirk’s primary weapon the Tantalus field, which isn’t even Terran technology.  (Speaking of which, shouldn't mirror Kirk have a lock or password on that device?  It seems strange he would allow it to be used by anyone who could find it.)  The two starships are on the exact same mission at the exact same time.  Other missions seem also identical with exceptions to Imperial brutality.  The spot where Dr. McCoy spilled acid happened in exact same place in both universes.  When they are trying to go home at no point are they able to communicate with our universe and tell them what the plan is.  It just develops on the other side naturally.   Just as our landing party is coming home, our Mr. Spock is there to help send the other party back.

Another important part I would like to make before my counterpart takes back over.   In the mirror universe, as it is presented in this episode, only the humans/terrans are different.  The Halkans are exactly the same in both universes: pacifists who will die before aiding terrorists but would also not help like-minded peaceful people because they may use violence in self-defense.   The characters of Mr. Spock are both identical the only difference is the mirror Spock is doing his best to survive and prosper in this horrific environment created by the Terran Empire.   

From a different universe

“Mirror, Mirror” has long regarded as one of, if not the, worst episode of the franchise. It was banned almost immediately after it aired.  I had to get special permission to view it and now that I have seen it I almost wish I hadn’t.  Impostors from a non-imperialist universe show up and outwit the officers of the Emperor’s finest starship?   Seeing it for myself I have to say that I don’t blame Roddenberry for having Gene L. Coon and Jerome Bixby shot one month after the episode’s first and last showing.

I can think of no greater betrayal of Roddenberry’s vision than this episode.  One has to go back to where we were in the 1960s.  After Emperor John I of House Kennedy destroyed Cuba after the Bay of the Pigs with the new sub-nuclear weaponry (all the fire power but none of the background radiation) and allowing Turkey to invade the Ukraine, the power of the Soviet Union was broken and humiliated on the world stage.  These early victories showed the world that best power on Earth was Imperial States of the American Empire. 

Then out of almost nowhere a TV writer showed up with a dream.  In the past science fiction always showed aliens conquering the Earth’s people until one powerful empire purged itself of weakness and made them leave.  Roddenberry had a different idea: imagine an Empire like ours that unified the Earth and brought our special brand of fascism to the stars.  Thus the show Star Conquerors was born and the world was never the same. 

This loser couldn't kill a fake Kirk

The worst part of this episode was the fake Kirk trying to talk Spock into betraying his Captain.  See this episode in a vacuum makes you think he might do it.  However the title says “Star Conquerors starring William Shatner” the Captain isn’t going anywhere.  We have this season and the next to finish before making cartoons and six great films.  After “Star Conquerors VI: The Discovered Country” a film that was made to celebrate our final conquest of the Soviet Union under the combined military leadership of Field Marshall Ronald Reagan and Fleet Admiral George H.W. Bush, Emperor John I himself said that we owe a special thanks to show Star Conquerors and if Emperor Abraham of House Lincoln hadn’t unified North America in the 19^th century we might not have William Shatner to play James T. Kirk.  William Shatner lives in what was once Canada, now just the Canadian region.    

Watching a worm squirm 

The only good thing that came out of this episode was I got to find out the in canon reason for Chekov’s execution and stuffing of his remains in the next episode.  Chekov was always there to show how useless Russians were but having his body stuffed and on display did that far better than when he was alive.  After the final Klingon surrender in “The Discovered County” it was funny to see stuffed Chekov in the room where the surrender was being signed.  Star Conquerors is always great for metaphor.

In closing the mirror universe is a scary place.

FINAL GRADE 5 of 5

FINAL JUDGEMENT 0 OF 10