THE NAME OF THIS EPISODE DID NOT AGE WELL!

 

Episode Title:  The Jihad

Air Date: 1/12/1974

Written by Stephen Kandel

Directed by Hal Sutherland

Cast: William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk    Leonard Nimoy as Commander Spock        DeForest Kelley as Dr. Leonard H. McCoy AKA “Bones”              James Doohan  as Sord and Tchar         George Takei as Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu        David Gerrold as EM 3 Green             Jane Webb as Lara and Vedala Female

Ships: USS Enterprise NCC-1701, four other unnamed starships. 

Planets: mad planet

My Spoiler filled summary and review: The Enterprise has been summoned to meet with a representative from the Vedala people on a giant asteroid.  The Vedala are the oldest spacefaring race in the known galaxy and when they want a meeting the Federation is apt to apply.  Kirk beams down with Mr. Spock to meet the Vedala Ambassador.  When the two get there they find out that the Ambassador is recruiting them to be on a team for a Mission Impossible type of assignment. 

Team being assembled!

The team consists of beings recruited for their talents and vested interests.   The first of these is Tchar, the hereditary prince of the Skorr and Master of the Eyrie.  His people were once a warrior race but now preach the value of peace.  This is a good thing for the rest of the galaxy, as Spock notes the Skorr can raise an army of billions of soldiers in a short amount of time.   The second is Sord, a powerful reptilian-like creature who I assume is recruited to be the muscle.  (At first I thought he was a Gorn but apparently not.)  The third is Em/3/Green, an expert lock-pick and thief, however he also is a coward and not good at working under pressure.  The final member is Lara, who is a human and her talents are she is an excellent hunter who has a flawless sense of direction.

Tchar begins by explaining his planets history and that their passion for violence was only quelled by a teacher named Alar, who basically played the role of Surak to their society with the only difference being a religious undertone.   After he died his brain waves were copied in placed into a device which came to be known as “the Soul of Skorr.”  This allows them to keep their leader with them forever.  However, just recently the device was stolen and Tchar fears without their leaders’ brain waves-on-ice secure the people of Skorr will revert to the ways of their ancestors and rage a great holy war on the rest of the galaxy.  The have keep the theft secret and their intelligence operation has lead them to the general location of the artifact.  It is on the planet Madworld, called this because of the instability of the planet.  There have been three attempts to retrieve it, but all of these attempts have ended in failure. 

If you are going on a mission you need a set of wheels!

Now on Madworld, the team sees that it easily lives up to its name with the horrible weather.  They are given a land vehicle adding some speed to their journey.  When going over the probabilities of survival, Spock is asked if he only quotes statistics.  He replies that he also quotes philosophy and poetry but that would inappropriate at this time.  Unfortunately, the team runs into an active volcano spilling lava everywhere.   Things go from bad to worse when their vehicle breaks down.  There is no time to fix it so they lose it to the lava.

I'm glad we all fit!

The good thing is they were not too far away from the fortress and they come across it rather quick. It is locked and booby-trapped to explode.  The good news is the cowardly Green is able to pick the locks and get them in there while the rest of the team fights of automated sentinels.  It is at this point that Kirk starts to expect a trap and as soon as they are all inside they are sealed in.  Kirk then declares that the other teams made it this far and failed because someone on the team betrayed them and sabotaged the mission.  Kirk accuses Tchar and Tchar flies down and admits it. It turns out that the future ruler of his people wanted them to return to the glory of their past.  Realizing he could never do that so long as the great teacher’s essence was still influencing them he decided to get rid of it.  Now his people will wage war throughout the galaxy.  

It is like when you get in an accident with your new car!

Tchar shuts off the gravity in this building and, even though they are on a planet, with the gravity turned off they all start to flout through the air.  Tchar thinks he has won but he doesn’t know that Captain Kirk is the greatest fighter in the entire galaxy who can fight with speed and grace even in a zero-g environment.  Aided by his first officer, Mr. Spock, who also is an impressive fighter, the two tag team the big bird and swiftly defeat him.  With that the Soul of Skorr is restored to its people.

Not so nice!

Now that all has been won the Vedala Ambassador congratulates Captain Kirk but also lets him know there are no rewards or medals for the achievement only gratitude.  She also makes him aware that he is going to forget the entire adventure as the Vedala strongly desire secrecy for the good of the Skorr.  When Kirk and Spock are beamed back to the ship, Mr. Sulu is surprised as from his perspective they just left two minutes ago.  Kirk lets the helmsman know there has been a change of heart and this mission is now off.      

Additional thoughts: I remember my freshman year of college.  I had taken a class in Middle Eastern politics and felt I was well versed in the issues of the day.  I remember being the only one in my immediate family and friend group who even knew who Osama Bin Laden was and what he was all about.  Then 911 happened.  Everyone knew who he was and what jihad meant.  Actually, they knew what the popular usage of jihad was.   There are multiple types of jihad to which “holy war” is only one. However it was the one everyone became familiar with so if the Animated Series was running anywhere they probably skipped over this episode.

It is ironic that the adventure in this episode is erased from everyone’s memory.   For when I began to watch it I realized I had forgotten it as well.  With most episodes I haven’t seen in a long time I usually remember the plot in the first five minutes, this time the only thing I recognized was Tchar.  I think the episode was a victim to the structure of only being a half-hour plus commercials cartoon show.  Once the plot was explained there wasn’t much time for anything else to happen.   It was too bad because the show started our strong and the team that was assembled was neat; however everything was too quickly resolved. 

Another limitation of the half-hour format is Kirk’s new limited love life.  During this adventure Lara, our lady huntress, has the hots for Captain Kirk.  Normally this would mean our good Captain was going to get down with a nice lady, as he so often did.  However, he has to remind her that this isn’t the time for that sort of thing because we don’t want to scare the kids on Saturday morning who are under the belief that babies come from storks.

If we were live action we would get action

So what happens to Tchar, after stealing the most important part of their society is he still allowed to become their king?  I think he is a very bad choice, but who knows how bird monarchy is supposed to work?  Hopefully they will have some procedure that would prevent him from ruling.  For if they do not the universe may have a big fight on its hands in just a few years.

When a Prince is against his people!

FINAL GRADE 3 of 5

THE SPACE PIMP RETURNS AND THIS TIME HE IS PIMPING EVERYBODY

 

Episode Title:  Mudd's Passion

Air Date: 11/10/1973

Written by Stephen Kandel

Directed by Hal Sutherland

Cast: William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk    Leonard Nimoy as Commander Spock        DeForest Kelley as Dr. Leonard H. McCoy AKA “Bones”              James Doohan  as Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott AKA “Scotty”, Lieutenant Arex, unnamed Human Miner, and unnamed Male Ursinoid Miner         George Takei  as Lieutenant  Hikaru Sulu              Nichelle Nichols as Lieutenant Nyota Uhura and unnamed Female Ursinoid Miner       Majel Barrett as Nurse Christine Chapel, Lieutenant M’Ress, and Lieutenant Lora           Roger C. Carmel as Harry Mudd         

Ships: USS Enterprise NCC-1701, Copernicus NCC-1701/12

Planets: Motherlode and unnamed rocky planet

My Spoiler filled summary and review: The Enterprise begins its adventure in charge of a police action.  The crew of the Federation’s finest starship are to locate and arrest their old “friend” Harry Mudd for a boatload of charges, up to and including trying to sell Starfleet Academy.  They find Mudd on the planet Motherlode, a nice name for a mining colony.  There the conman is trying to sell a type of “love potion.”  These crystals when consumed makes anyone you touch fall madly in love with you.  The colonists all seem interested so instead of telling them that brain washing people romance and sex is wrong, Spock exposes Mudd as fake by showing them that the woman who Mudd uses a test subject isn’t even real but an illusion brought on by a creature that Mudd has with him.  With the mob now angry and wanting to kill him, Mudd agrees to be taking back to the ship.

In the brig Mudd cons Chapel, who he knows has the hots for Spock, to experiment with the love crystal. She decides to give it a try, and while she is doing that Mudd begins to make his escape.  Chapel’s attempt to woo Spock with this special drug apparently fails, so she decides to confront Mudd and realizes he is gone.  Chapel tracks him to the shuttle bay and the two of them struggle.  While they are struggling some love crystals fall and break with their powered heading into the ventilation shaft. Mudd overpowers Chapel, kidnaps her, steals a shuttlecraft, and heads for a planet nearby.

Chapel trying her moves on Spock

 On the bridge they notice two things: the stolen shuttlecraft and the love drug has defiantly worked on Mr. Spock.  As serious as the situation is Spock’s anger at the loss of Nurse Chapel goes way beyond character.  Kirk decides to take Spock with him on the landing party to retrieve Nurse Chapel and arrest Mudd.  He justifies this as a way to calm things down.  However just as they are leaving the love drug is working its way through the ship’s air causing the crew to go crazy with lust.  Scotty gets freaky with the cat lady, McCoy is hitting on a young woman, and no one is attending to their duties.

Mudd making an escape!

When they materialize on the surface after confirming how lucky they are to have such a great friendship, Kirk and Spock find Mudd and Chapel.  This makes Spock very excited because it means he gets to put his hands on Chapel.  However, there are these awful rock monsters living on this rock planet and those monsters look like they are going to eat them.  They also can’t get back to the Enterprise because the entire crew is love sick and not paying attention to what is happening on the surface. Kirk then takes the rest of the love crystals and throws them in the creatures’ mouths.  This causes the creatures to fall in love with each other.  With the crew starting to recover they are able to beam back on the ship.

Nasty things

The episode ends with Mudd being shipped off to prison, and the entire crew dealing with a love hangover that caused everyone to despise the person they thought that they were in love with. All is well that ends well.

Additional thoughts: Love is one of the best and most frustrating things about life. One of the worst parts about it is how it doesn’t make too much sense.  There is no way to predict how it turns out.  You fall in love with someone who you see as being perfect for you, and by what that person says they want you would be the perfect fit for them too.  However, for some reason they aren’t that into you.  They have dated people like you, in terms of looks and personality, both before and after you took your shot.  Yet, they weren’t interested in you.  Many of us have gotten a break up notice where your now Ex is explaining how wonderful you are and hope you find someone but they are just not ‘feeling it.’  The old “it’s not you it’s me” line.  Wouldn’t it just be nice just to be able to skip the confusion and magically just wish there to love where you think it should be. The concept of “love potion” is an old fantasy and plays often in fiction. There are of course some clear problematic elements of this.  Using a form of mind control to create love is really a dark recipe for disaster.  If you are using mind control to create love then it really isn’t love, is it?

McCoy making moves

Speaking of love isn’t it interesting that love is the game that Mudd is always playing.  The first time we meet him, in “Mudd’s Women,” he is helping some women catfish some rich men with the help of drugs to make the women appear more beautiful, and in “I, Mudd” he is leading a planet with a great many androids who have kindly built some lady androids for Mudd’s amusement. Now he is trying to sell a cheap love potion and just like before what he is selling does not meet the eye.

My favorite scene in this episode is a love sick McCoy trying to hit on a young officer, "I've saved just about everybody on this here ship. If the Enterprise had a heart, I'd save her, too. Now, let's talk about your heart, my dear."  In addition to that I must confess I don’t have a lot of affection for Spirk slash stories.  Death of the author and all but I have never seen much sense in trying to pretend that Kirk and Spock were lovers.  This only works if you highlight certain scenes out of context and ignore everything else about the characters.  This not to say that people who like that sort of thing are in any way ‘bad Star Trek’ fans.  If stories like that give you joy then by all means continue to enjoy them.   I am just saying they never worked for me.  However, there is a real Spirk moment on the planet when both guys are affected with the love crystals.

Best buddies

On one final note, does anyone know why they didn’t use the tractor beam on the shuttlecraft.  I kept shouting for them to use it and was slightly frustrated when they didn’t.  Oh well, no episode is ever truly perfect.

FINAL GRADE 3 of 5

THE SPACE PIMP RETURNS AND THIS TIME HE IS PIMPIN’ THEM ANDROIDS

Episode Title:  I, Mudd

Air Date: 11/3/1967

Written by Stephen Kandel and David Gerrold

Directed by Marc Daniels

Cast: William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk    Leonard Nimoy as Commander Spock             DeForest Kelley as Dr. Leonard H. McCoy AKA “Bones”              James Doohan  as Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott AKA “Scotty”        George Takei  as Lieutenant  Hikaru Sulu              Nichelle Nichols as Lieutenant Nyota Uhura          Eddie Paskey as Lieutenant Leslie                 Mike Howden as Lieutenant Rowe        Roger Holloway as Lieutenant Lemli                        Frank Da Vinci as Lieutenant Brent       Michael Zaslow as Ensign Jordan       Walter Koenig as Ensign Pavel Chekov                 Jeannie Malone as unnamed Yeoman       Bob Orrison as unnamed crewman                       Roger C. Carmel as Harry Mudd        Richard Tatro as Norman         Bill Blackburn as unnamed Android    Alyce Andrece as Alice #1 through 250    Rhae Andrece as Alice #251 through 500                  Ted LeGarde as Herman Series           Tom LeGarde as Herman Series          Colleen Thornton as Barbara Series         Maureen Thornton as Barbara Series         Starr Wilson as Maisie Series             Tamara Wilson as Maisie Series             Kay Elliot as Stella Mudd android         Bobby Bass as unnamed Android      Marlys Burdette as unnamed Android     

Ships: USS Enterprise NCC-1701

Planets:  Mudd

My Spoiler filled summary and review: The Enterprise has a new crew member, a lieutenant named Norman.   McCoy instantly is suspicious of him.  When Spock asks why McCoy explains that Norman is a human displaying typical Vulcan traits.  Spock concludes that McCoy is just being a bigot but it turns out McCoy’s bigotry is correct.  So I suppose the moral of the story so far is we should all bit more bigoted.

                Joking aside Norman does seize control of the auxiliary control room and changes the direction that the ship was heading.  When this is discovered on the bridge Mr. Sulu tries to override only to discover that the controls were jammed.  Kirk orders a security team down to the auxiliary control room where they find unconscious  personnel.   Kirk then calls a ship wide manhunt but Norman has already gotten down to engineering.  While there he overpowers Scotty and his entire team and continues his sabotage of the ship. 

Norman reveled

Captain Kirk is about to leave the bridge to join the hunt but Norman arrives first and stops him.  Noman proclaims that he has altered course of the ship and has sabotaged it so that that if they try to retake control the Enterprise will be destroyed.  Norman has a designation in mind for the ship and they will be going there.  Interesting enough that is not the strangest thing he does he revels to Kirk and Spock that is he is an artificial lifeform, an android.   This isn’t the first time they encountered and android so they are not weirded out by it just impressed with the level of sophistication in his design.  Norman decides to go into hibernate mode while the Enterprise goes to the planet he has selected.

They arrive at their destination and Norman wakes up to announce the plans for an away team consisting of the Captain, First Officer, Chief Medical Officer, Communications Officer, and Navigator.  Why those officers is never really explained.  I am going to comment in the additional thoughts section about the absence of Sulu.  Kirk refuses but Norman threatens to blow up their ship if there is no compliance, and he also says “please.”

Mudd the First

The away team transports down to the planet and when they get there Kirk comes face to face with the world’s ruler, a man he never thought to see again: Harry Mudd.  The last time Kirk saw him he had him arrested for trying catfish dilithium miners with drugged up women.  Not to mention operating a ship without a license, identity theft, and trying to blackmail a starship with its destruction. 

Turns out the man hasn’t changed a bit.  After escaping from his captivity with Starfleet he continued with his criminal career on a number of different planets going so far as to earn a death sentence on one.  While on the run he landed here, an uncharted world that he would name Mudd.  The planet was populated by these highly advanced and ancient androids whose makers came from the Andromeda Galaxy and had died out centuries ago. 

Mudd happy being Mudd

These androids were lost and without purpose so Mudd gave them a purpose by installing himself as their ruler.  He names the planet after himself and crowns himself Emperor as “Mudd the First.”  This goes to show you that Mudd has no idea how dynastical names work as he should be referring to himself as “Harcourt the First of House Mudd.”  Despite his limited imagination Mudd manages to fill the androids of planet Mudd with a new purpose.  They followed his instructions to create a few new series of androids that could operate as “fully functional” human females.   He had one special android made in the image of his abandoned wife Stella who, in Mudd’s view, used to nag him too much.  So the Stella android nags him until he tells her to “shut up” and she shuts off.  He shows this off to Kirk and his crew. 

Mudd's favorite thing to do!

  However Mudd has started to become bored with his life as a ruler of planet Mudd.  He is running out of things to have his androids to do.  So to make everyone on planet Mudd happy the petty Emperor ordered his androids to go out and capture a Federation Starship.  It was only luck of the draw that he got his old rival.  The androids will force everyone from the Enterprise down to the surface.  The main force of androids would remain to watch them as Mudd would take 400 androids and steal the Enterprise using her to run around the galaxy.  When Scotty is brought down by force Kirk is informed that this part of Mudd’s plan has been completed.

No match for Mr. Spock

Kirk is now facing two problems the first is his ship is under the control of androids but even worse is the gilded cage that they have been put in is so nice that several of his officers are enjoying their stay and those who are not but are tempted.  Kirk does get a minor victory when he confuses one of the Alice androids by referring to the Enterprise as his desire, and when she responds that the ship is a device not a desire he counters by calling the ship a beautiful lady.  Alice calls out to Norman and retreats.   Kirk and Spock note while there are many of each series there is only one Norman. 

"There is only one of me!"

Harry Mudd prepares to leave but ends up getting the shock of his life when his androids inform him that he isn’t going anywhere.  The androids while they were obeying Mudd were also studying him.  They came to the conclusion that humans, although intelligent creatures, were far too reckless and dangerous to be allowed to go about the universe unchecked.   Therefore Mudd will remain on planet Mudd with the crew of the Enterprise while the androids leave to conquer the Federation.

Well at least the scenery is nice! 

When asked how they attended to do that Norman simply explained that they would rule humanity by serving them.  They would take care of every need human beings had making humanity ultimately dependent on them.  People will be happy and under control.  It is a good plan but the androids don’t realize they are up against James T. Kirk, the Bane of all Artificial Intelligence.  Kirk quickly realizes that the androids expect them to make an escape attempt so he has McCoy drug Mudd and tell the androids that he is sick and they need to get back to the Enterprise to help him.   Lt. Uhura appears to betray her crewmates when she rats on Kirk’s plan to the androids.   This is however part of the Captain's plan to lure the androids into a false state of security. 

Kirk then launches a very well-choreographed performance with his senior crew and Harry Mudd.  In which they all ran around and acted so illogical that it caused the androids to go into a state of shock and shut down.   Once reactivated the androids of planet Mudd knew they were beat and surrendered.  As the crew of the Enterprise was getting ready to depart, Mudd was informed that he had to remain.  Considering the eye candy of his designed androids he concluded that it wasn’t a bad sentence.  Until he found out about the personal android assigned to him.  The Stella android reprogrammed so that when he tells her to “shut up” her nagging doesn't stop but is instead joined by another Stella android.  There is up to 500 of them to Mudd’s horror.  Uhura gives Mudd a cute little wave as they walk off in victory.

Additional thoughts: As long as humanity could conceive of the concept of artificial intelligence and immediate fear arouse.  What would happen when the AI has surpassed us both in intellect and independence suddenly determines that we are no longer worth listening to?  Even worse suddenly decides we are a threat. 

Androids don't like it when we get crazy.

In the 1984 classic The Terminator the AI Skynet concludes that in its own self-interest humanity needs to be exterminated.  In The Matrix series the world wide AI reduces humanity to livestock.  In earlier episodes we saw Landru and Vaal had a type of paternalistic relationship with their humanoid population.  So it was rather refreshing to discover a race of androids bent on humanity’s domination with a strategy of “beat them with kindness.”  The plan is to conqueror humanity by tending to all their basic needs for them. The 2004 movie I, Robot had the same idea. (Giving the similar name of the movie and episode and giving the similar motivations of the AIs I thought that the original book by Isaak Azimov probably had the same plot so the name of the episode would be an allusion to that.  However it turns out the 2004 film took a number of different concepts from a number Azimov's works and put them into one movie.  The "I, Robot" title came from the story of an alleged robot murderer and the benevolent robot dictator came from the story came from "The Evitable Conflict.") 

   The only problem for this plan is time and place.  I think if the androids of planet Mudd landed on Earth in 1967 or 2020 that would be a successful strategy.   However in the time period of the Federation in the 23^rd century humanity has solved all their social ills and Earth is a paradise.  Every member of the crew on the Enterprise is there because they want to be the explorers of the universe.  McCoy and Scotty tell the androids that humans need pain and suffering in their life to truly be happy.  That might be true for their self-chosen exposure to certain types pain but for myself who is living in a world-wide pandemic I say bring on the androids. 

"Too much Happiness"

Where Sulu disappear to?  He was on the bridge but he wasn’t one of those invited down by Norman.  However why wasn’t he with Mr. Scott when the lovely lady androids grabbed the rest of the crew? I would have thought by then we would see him.  I know he is about to go on some leave time but apparently Mr. Takei’s real-life schedule must have called him away.

Chekov had a really good time on planet Mudd.  Being entertained by the lovely Alice androids programmed by the despicable Mr. Mudd, gave him a better time than being in Leningrad.  So sometime between now and 23^rd century St. Petersburg becomes Leningrad again and is such a nice place that it is comparable to a threesome with a beautiful set of twins.  No, wonder the young Ensign is always such a happy fellow.

A lucky Mr. Chekov

So what is the current state of the planet Mudd?  What happens to all the great androids we ran into?  Will they ever leave that place and participate with the wider Milky Way?  I don’t ever recall seeing them again.  That would be an interesting world to revisit.

FINAL GRADE 4 of 5