THE ENTERPRISE MUST CHASE DOWN PIRATES TO SAVE SPOCK!

 

Episode Title:  The Pirates of Orion

Air Date: 9/7/1974

Written by Howard Weinstein

Directed by Bill Reed

Cast: William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk    Leonard Nimoy as Commander Spock        DeForest Kelley as Dr. Leonard H. McCoy AKA “Bones”              James Doohan  as Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott AKA “Scotty”, Lieutenant Arex, Lieutenant Kyle, Captain O’Shea, and the Orion Captain                           George Takei as Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu and unnamed Lieutenant                    Nichelle Nichols as Lieutenant Nyota Uhura          Majel Barrett as Nurse Christine Chapel, unnamed Lieutenant, and Enterprise computer        Norm Prescott as Orion Lieutenant and Orion Ensign

Ships: USS Enterprise NCC-1701, USS Huron NCC-F1913, unnamed Orion vessel

Planets: none

My Spoiler filled summary and review: The Enterprise is on a routine diplomatic mission where they are to go to a party celebrating the opening of new Academy of Science on Deneb V.  The ship is needed to represent the Federation, because apparently the ship has nothing better to do.  It seems to me to be a case missed priorities.  The whole thing is delayed when the ship has an outbreak of choriocytosis.  Which sounds bad but really isn’t that big of deal because Dr. McCoy has it under control.  Or that is he did when it was only affecting the human members of the crew.  It appears that this thing can get real nasty when it hits a Vulcan, and it gets its grip into our most favorite Vulcan, Mr. Spock.  

Spock down for the count!

According to Dr. McCoy, Spock is dying.  He can treat it somewhat to the delay the effects but Spock has only a few days at most.  The only thing that can save the First Officer for sure is naturally-occurring strobolin.  However, the nearest batch is located four days away from the Enterprise.  The good news is their ship is part of a mighty Starfleet that has lots of ships and it would be ridiculous if they were the only ship in the sector.  So, they contact Starfleet to have them send a ship that is closer and have them rendezvous with the Enterprise.  

The USS Huron is the ship tasked with bringing the medicine to the Enterprise.  However, they are also carrying supplies of dilithium crystals for Federation ships, which makes them a prime target for space pirates.  This is exactly what happens as Orion pirates attack the poor cargo ship.  Enterprise arrives after the pirates are gone.  They aid the crew and are told that the pirates cleaned them out of everything even the medicine. 

USS Huron

Kirk is determined to find the pirates which he does fairly easily.  He then communicates with the pirates to see if they have the medicine.  When they ask what Kirk will do if they have it, the Captain informs them that they will allow the pirates to keep the dilithium they have, plus Kirk will give them some more, and they will remove any reference to the pirates in their ships logs so no one will know it was the Orions that stole them.  

Starfleet crew under attack!

Kirk’s offer is so good that the Orions feel it cannot be true. As soon as the Enterprise reports their actives here the neutrality of Orion is lost. There is only one thing to do: they must destroy the Enterprise.  They don’t fire power to outgun them but the asteroids in this belt are full of dangerous energy that could destroy both ships.  The Orions are willing to die for their secrecy.  They tell Kirk that they will accept his offer if the Captain collects the medicine in person on the asteroid below. Although Kirk expects this is some sort of trap, he has no idea that the Orions have rigged this asteroid to blow up and destroy both ships. 

Orion ship!

Kirk meets the Orion Captain on the surface and his opponent announces his intentions.  What the Orion Captain did not know is that Captain Kirk is the greatest fighter in the galaxy who fights with such speed and grace that most Orions would turn greener with envy.  However, this pirate doesn’t need to beat Kirk he just needs to press the button.  He almost does but that is when Scotty beams them both back to the Enterprise and disarms him.  Kirk tells his opponent that he is their prisoner and if his crew kills themselves now it will do them no good.  Listening to reason the Orion Captain orders his crew to surrender. Spock has been treated and is now cured.  

The meeting of Captains

Additional thoughts: Last week Spock’s Vulcan anatomy protected him from the rainbow Dramian virus and years ago it prevented the salt vampire from killing him.  Here however what in one case was an advantage is now a disadvantage.  Choriocytosis is friendly to no one but it is extra horrible to Vulcans.  It just goes to show that evolutionary advantage is very conditional.  Sometimes it is beneficial to be a Vulcan and sometimes it isn’t. 

So, what is up with the Orions being blue?  I mean it’s not too big of a deal, humans after all come in all sorts of colors. I would just prefer the Orions to be different shades of green as opposed outright different colors.  I don’t put a lot of stock into the visuals of the Animated Series as canon.  Stories yes, but visuals no.  The Tribbles were the wrong color in “More Tribbles, More Troubles,” and the deltas never point up.

Kirk taking another captain down!

Why does the Enterprise have so much spare dilithium now?  Did Starfleet wise up after the incidents in “Where No Man Has Gone Before” and “Mudd’s Women?”  I hope they have it would end the annoying “oh no, we have no more crystals” plots. 

The Enterprise finding it's fellow starship in trouble

So many time the Enterprise comes up against something that is so powerful their ship is utterly helpless.  This dates all the way back to “The Corbomite Maneuver.” It is kind of refreshing to see a group of aliens realize that they are no match for the Enterprise. They come up with a trap that might have worked if this was their show and they were given enough plot armor to survive.  However, it is not their show, they are the bad guys and they get to go to jail.

Just try it we out gun you ten to one!

This whole episode the Orions are concerned with preserving their home world’s neutrality. Maybe they should stop committing crimes against greater powers?  We first saw them pull this stuff in “Journey To Babel.”  Why do we let them get away with it just because some choose to commit suicide. The Federation is somewhat at fault here for not taking a harder line against them.  If I was the Federation President, I would point out that proof beyond reasonable doubt is court standard not the requirement of a great space power defending its interest.  I would let them know that if had good reason to think they were behind something we would treat it as an absolute certainty.  Of course, with Kirk dragging them off to jail the point is kind of mute. Speaking of the end it wasn’t very dramatic, the bad guys just tried their plan and it failed.  All is well that ends well.  

FINAL GRADE 4 of 5

A STAR TREK EPISODE WITHOUT CAPTAIN KIRK OR THE USS ENTERPRISE

 

Episode Title:  The Slaver Weapon

Air Date: 12/8/1973

Written by Larry Niven

Directed by Hal Sutherland

Cast: Leonard Nimoy as Commander Spock        James Doohan  as Chuft Captain, Kzinti Telepath, Kzinti Flyer                      George Takei  as Lieutenant  Hikaru Sulu              Nichelle Nichols as Lieutenant Nyota Uhura     Majel Barrett as Slaver Weapon Computer

Ships: Copernicus NCC-1701/12, Traitor’s Claw

Planets: unnamed ice planet

My Spoiler filled summary and review: An away team consisting of Spock, Uhura, and Sulu are traveling in the shuttle craft Copernicus, which is a long-distance shuttle.  They are transporting a valuable item called a Slaver Box.   The box we are told is a relic from the Slaver Civilization, a power that once ruled and enslaved the galaxy billions of years ago.  The rebellion that overthrew it caused the end of intelligent life in the galaxy at that time until it evolved again.  The only thing left over are these boxes that are like time capsules only better. For what goes in a Slaver Box time stops.  If you put a ham sandwich into a box a million years later someone could open the box and eat it.  Since finding these boxes have often led to great discoveries, like improved anti-gravity, there is great importance placed in locating them.  However, unless you find one by accident, the only way to detect one is to have a box with you.  Today they think they might have found a new box thanks to the box that they have.

Cool new shuttle craft refit!

The team stops at an unnamed ice planet to where they believe this box to be located. However, it turns out to be a trap.  The three Starfleet officers are captured by the Kzinti and are imprisoned in their “web” that is basically a force field that surrounds a web design on the ground.  The Kzinti are cat-like race of aliens who first encountered humans at the end of the 21^st century and fought four wars with them.  The Kzinti lost all four wars and are now forbidden even to have weapons.  Now the must resort to treachery.  They are complete carnivores and view Vulcans with distain because they are vegetarians.  Humans as omnivores are only less disgusting.  Spock points out that they might underestimate Uhura because their own female population are just dumb animals. (I have more to say on that in the additional thoughts section.) Some of their species are telepathic and they usually have one on each of their crews.  However, the telepath can be thrown off if you focus your thoughts on eating vegetables. 

The Kzinti’s slaver box was empty so it was just really awesome storage unit that could also be used to lure someone else with a box in.  Opening Starfleet’s box, they find a picture of slaver (they were ugly), some fresh meat (good for them to eat), and a device that maybe a weapon.  The device changes shape per setting and it first does nothing really useful.  One setting deactivates all the technology allowing the Starfleet trio to escape.  Spock knocks over the Chuft Captain and takes the weapon.  This is a huge afront to the Chuft Captain’s honor to be hit by an herbivore.  The Chuft Captain remembers that human females are intelligent so they capture Uhura to use her as a hostage to set up a rematch with Spock and get back the weapon.

Nasty cats!

Spock and Sulu try to figure out the weapon, to which Sulu thinks it might have been used as device for intelligence officers given its many functions.  They find a setting that gives off a massive explosion.  It can give off enough power to put the Kzinti as the top power in this side of the galaxy.  They realize they can’t allow the Kzinit to have the weapon now, but it is too late as the vibrations from the explosion reach them knocking them down and unconscious.  Spock and Sulu join Uhura as prisoners again as the Chuft Captain tries to figure out the weapon.

Time to make an escape!

The Kzinit are having the hardest time finding the setting that the Starfleet officers had it on.  At one point the weapon has a reasoning computer phase. Spock begins to speculate that this might be the weapon’s own security mechanism.  When the Kzinit demand the setting their enemies just had it on, the shape it changes.  However, the new shape not the one Sulu and Spock saw earlier.  Instead, it’s a self-destruct mechanism that takes out the itself and the Kzinit.  As the three leave, they reminisce about a Kzinti legend about old weapons being haunted by their previous owners.

Slavers were ugly!

Additional thoughts: Well, here we have it, the first ever episode of Star Trek that had neither Captain Kirk nor the starship Enterprise anywhere to be found.  This wasn’t bad but I can’t say that I like it.  The only other time we didn’t have the Captain was in “The Cage” and the TV executives were so unhappy they almost dropped the series. It wasn’t until Kirk was added in “Where No Man Has Gone Before” that the show could begin.  But even in the first pilot we still got to have our starship Enterprise.  I think I speak for all of us when we say “no” to episode long shuttle craft adventures.  Shuttle craft are a tool not a story setting.  We should always have the Enterprise.

umm...lunch!

In the episode “The Paradise Syndrome” fans were introduced to the Preservers.  An ancient people who once ruled the Milky Way galaxy before the current groups of spacefaring powers (the Federation, Klingons, and Romulans) discovered faster-than-light travel.  They are long extinct and we don’t even know their real name.  The Federation calls them “the Preservers” because they come across their handiwork from time to time.  Species or cultures that were endangered were relocated to another M-class planet where they could thrive.  In this episode we learn there was an ancient race before them who the Federation calls “the Slavers.”  Guess why?  Apparently because they enslaved so many other intelligent beings in the galaxy.  It was so bad that a revolt happened that ended all intelligent life in the galaxy, until it evolved again.

Okay, this could be bad!

So, I guess the moral of the story is slavery is bad or slave revolts are bad.  It is one of those two.  It if is the later isn’t it just kind of weird?  I mean I suppose if I were living in the antebellum American South, I would be always in favor of a slave rebellion.  However, if such a rebellion would cause the extinction of the human species, I suppose that could turn me against it.  Let’s wait for a time to rebel where and when the whole human species won’t die. For such horrible slavers they did have some interesting technology.  However, given the size of boxes I think I would only use them for food storage.

So, the Kzinti women.  As there have been many patriarchal societies in real life, it is not strange to encounter them as we explore the universe.  However there seems to more here than simply a patriarchy.  For it is Spock that makes the claim that Kzinti women are unintelligent animals.  So, for a second let’s say Spock is 100% correct and under no possible misinterpretation.  How would such a species function?  You have one gender with human level intelligence and the other with the intelligence of a dog?  How are courting rituals done?  What do family structures look like?  It is the only thing I want to know about but the episode never addresses it.

Overall, this story was okay but it was just kind of weak.  It was good to see Sulu and Uhura given an opportunity to shine.

FINAL GRADE 3 of 5

IT IS TIME FOR THE CUTE FURRY CREATURES FROM HELL

 

Episode Title:  The Trouble with Tribbles

Air Date: 12/29/1967

Written by David Gerrold

Directed by Joseph Pevney

Cast: William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk    Leonard Nimoy as Commander Spock             DeForest Kelley as Dr. Leonard H. McCoy AKA “Bones”              James Doohan  as Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott AKA “Scotty”        Nichelle Nichols as Lieutenant Nyota Uhura          Eddie Paskey as Lieutenant Leslie                 Mike Howden as Lieutenant Rowe        Roger Holloway as Lieutenant Lemli                        Frank Da Vinci as Lieutenant Brent       Bill Blackburn as Lieutenant Hadley    Paul Baxley as Ensign Freeman       Walter Koenig as Ensign Pavel Chekov                 Jeannie Malone as unnamed Yeoman  William Frederick Knight as Crewman Moody            Steve Hershon  as unnamed Security Guard     David L. Ross as unnamed Security Guard     Bobby Bass as unnamed Security Guard     Edwin Reimers as Admiral Fitzpatrick                Bob Orrison as unnamed Klingon                     William Schallert as Under-Secretary Nilz Baris     William Campbell as Captain Koloth         Stanley Adams as Cyrano Jones     Whit Bissell as Station Manager Lurry                  Michael Pataki as Korax            Charlie Brill as Arne Darvin         Guy Raymond as unnamed Trader         Richard Antoni as unnamed Klingon                     Dick Crockett  as unnamed Klingon                    

Ships and Space Stations: USS Enterprise NCC-1701, unnamed Klingon K't'inga-class battle cruiser, K-7 Space Station

Planets:  Sherman’s Planet

My Spoiler filled summary and review: The episode begins with a debriefing on the mission at hand with Kirk, Spock, and Chekov.  This establishes two things for the viewer.  First it sets the stakes.  In a great call back to the Klingons' first appearance, the three discuss the Orgainian Peace Treaty and its terms with how to deal with disputed territory and planets.  When a planet is disputed the right to colonize is granted to the power that can show it can demonstrate a stronger ability to develop the planet.  The second thing the opening establishes is that Chekov’s knowledge of history is somewhat spotty through his Russian goggles.   

The Enterprise coming and looking for a fight!

Their meeting comes to an end when the red alert goes off and Lt. Uhura tells them they have a Code 1 which mean invasion.  The Enterprise flies to the station K-7 at maximum warp looking for a fight.  When they get there however they find no Klingon ships around it appears to be a false alarm.  When Lt. Uhura raises Manger Lurry, he offers to explain.  Kirk is enraged and tells him he better prepare to do more than that. 

Kirk and Spock beam over and when they do they are introduced to a Federation Under-secretary.  This man is a little weasel name Baris, and he has a little brown-nosing assistant named Darvin.  Baris announces that he was the one to order the alarm.  His reason was he has a special grain called quadrotriticale.  It is the only crop that can grow on Sherman’s Planet and it is vital to the colony’s success.  The problem is Baris feels there is a likelihood that the Klingons could try to sabotage their efforts and he has no guards for his valuable product.  So instead of just requesting some guards like a responsible official he decides to falsely pull the Federation fire alarm.  This enrages Kirk that he would divert a starship for some silly wheat.  However, with some encouragement from Spock, he agrees to place some guards for the good of the colony.    Kirk also authorizes some shore leave for his crew. 

The unhappy Baris later goes and cries to Starfleet Command leading to Admiral Fitzpatrick to call Kirk and tell him to cooperate with more enthusiasm.  This reinforces the importance of Sherman’s Planet and the fact that Starfleet doesn’t take to pulling the Federation fire alarm that seriously.

Uhura decides to do some shopping on shore leave and brings the young Ensign Chekov along.  They run into Kirk and Spock.  Chekov then horrifies his Captain with his knowledge of quadrotriticale, making the Kirk wonder if everyone has heard about it but him.  While the two young officers get a drink a slimy merchant named Cyrano Jones tries to sell some trinkets to the bartender.  Jones comes off as a Harry Mudd-lite type of person, who the crew of the Enterprise just dispatched last week. 

Would you trust this man with anything? Really?

Jones pulls out a cute little creature he calls a “tribble.”  When the bartender sees how taken Uhura becomes with the little guy he is convinced to buy a number from Jones.  Jones gives Uhura her tribble explaining to the bartender that once she shows it around he won’t be able to keep out all the business he will get.

The good Lieutenant is getting more than she bargained for!

The red alert goes off again and this time there really is a Klingon ship.  As the Enterprise readies for battle, Kirk calls over K-7 to get another surprise in a day of surprises.  The Klingon Captain and his First Officer are already there.  I, as a viewer, am also surprised.  How did Captain Koloth and First Officer Korax get over there so quickly?  The Enterprise went on alert right away.  Did the Klingons never raise their shields?  When Kirk goes over to meet with Koloth the Klingon Captain claims he just wants to have shore leave rights and Kirk grants them.  This sends the Baris into a frenzy which makes Kirk happy. 

The Klingon Captain and his First Officer

Elsewhere Lt. Uhura is learning about the trouble with tribbles as her tribble gave birth to ten babies.  This doesn’t seem to be a big deal it just means that ten more crew members have pets or nine as McCoy just want study his. 

Realizing the tensions between Starfleet and the Klingons could flare up at any moment Kirk orders Scotty to take shore leave with the some of the crew in order to keep the peace.  Scotty just wants to read his technical journals and not hang out on a Starbase but he obeys orders. While there the Klingon First Officer Korax starts to talk crap about humans and Starfleet.  Chekov wants to slug him especially after Korax goes off on Captain Kirk, but Scotty stops him.  However when Korax starts to belittle the USS Enterprise, Scotty turns around and slugs the Klingon himself.   This causes a massive brawl that only ends when Starfleet security shows up to arrest everyone.  Kirk cancels shore leave for both ships, and we get an amusing scene where poor Mr. Scott has to explain to his Captain that he caused the brawl. 

Tribbles are everywhere!  In the halls, in Captain Kirk’s chair, and all over the bridge tribbles are making their presence felt.  The only thing Dr. McCoy can tell is that they are born pregnant and have a nicer personality than Spock.  Spock is happy that they don’t talk too much.

Throw down!

Baris believes that Jones is a Klingon agent set to destroy their operations on Sherman’s Planet. Kirk and Spock reluctantly integrate Jones.  Jones just says he is a passing businessman.  Jones seems somewhat unaware of the trouble that tribbles cause and sees their rapid breading as nothing more than a good way to maintain his stock. 

Okay, this is getting a bit ridiculous!

The tribbles continue their trouble on the Enterprise for they have now gotten into the food remixers.   Kirk realizes that if they could do that then they could also have gotten to the grain storage.  He calls Baris and Lurry for an emergency gathering at the very grain storage.  When Kirk opens it up he is then buried in tribbles.  Baris is now beyond enraged he threatens Kirk’s career, but Kirk isn’t moved.  Spock notices that many of the tribbles are dead.  This means Kirk is standing in tribble corpses, which is really gross.  Kirk isn’t lost however he orders McCoy, who had just now has thought that they should stop feeding the tribbles, to investigate with Spock to the cause of the grain-eating tribbles’ death. 

"I get to say 'he's dead, Jim' a thousand times!"

Kirk calls a meeting with Larry and Baris, to which Koloth crashes to demand an apology.  During the meeting we have it confirmed that Klingons and tribbles don’t like each other.  Klingons tend to act like elephants that have seen a mouse, where tribbles drop their soft purr and start to sequel.  At this point Baris’s assistant Darvin walks in and the tribbles in Kirk’s hand squeal as if they have seen a Klingon.  McCoy’s tricorder confirms it and Kirk uses the tribbles to coerce a confession out of Darvin that it was he who poisoned the grain.  The false human is taken away, Kirk tells Koloth where to stick it, and Kirk also comes to the conclusion that he might actually like tribbles.

Exposed

Back on the Enterprise Kirk is surprised to find his ship tribble-free.  When asked how it was done, Scotty confessed that he used his skill with the transporter to send all of them over to the Klingon ship just before they warped out.    

Additional thoughts: A parasitic species threatens to eat up the resources of the Enterprise, the Klingons have a high ranking spy in the Federation government, and colony threatened with a sadistic form of starvation.  Yet this episode is generally viewed as one of the lighter and sillier episodes.  That is not by accident for “The Trouble with Tribbles” gives off that feel, it’s not a bad thing just an observation.

Kirk has a great line in this when he say to Uhura “Too much of anything, even love, is not necessarily a good thing.” I find myself using this quote often.  I hold it right up there with Spock’s lines about understanding without approving and having not as nice as wanting.  Kirk has other great lines in this series but I really enjoy this one.

In one of the rare instances that I checked Spock’s math I discover of course he is right.  In this case about how many tribbles there would be after a certain amount of time.  At first I thought he was wrong but then I realized I needed to multiple a factor of eleven and not ten.

This episode contains one of the best examples of my favorite Captain Kirk idioms.  “Now as a Captain I want two things done.  The first thing I am going to say will be inspiring and directly to the point so you all know who is in charge.  Then the second thing will be some silly and ridiculous little thing to let you know I am person too.  Please close that door so more dead tribbles will land on my head.”  I like this almost as much as Kirk telling machines to kill themselves.

All of the Kirk/Scotty interactions were great.  I love the look on Kirk’s face when he is under the impression that the fight with the Klingons was started by the crew trying to defend his honor.  Then how that same expression changes when he learns the fight had nothing to do with him but the Enterprise.  I believe for a second he was jealous of his own ship.  Silly really seeing as how Kirk could be come just as defensive about his ship as Scotty.  After all as he said in the last episode, “She is a beautiful lady and we love her.” 

Who started it?

I really enjoyed the scene between Jones and Spock.  The fact that Jones can’t understand Spock because his simple minded brain isn’t fast enough to keep up was worth the entire episode.  Spock, of course, just adapts but it was fun to watch none the less.

Oh but the poor tribbles!  Kirk was horrified when he thought Mr. Scott transported them into space, but when he sends them to the Klingon ship is that really better. The Klingons and tribbles hate each other.  They're the only ones that tribbles do hate.  That is where Mr. Scott sent them?  I mean it’s funny to think of the horrified Klingons but did the tribbles deserve that?  

FINAL GRADE 5 OF 5

LOOKING IN THE MIRROR

 Episode Title:  Mirror, Mirror

Air Date: 10/6/1967

Written by Jerome Bixby

Directed by Marc Daniels

Cast: William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk and Captain James T. Kirk        Leonard Nimoy as Commander Spock and  Commander Spock                        DeForest Kelley as Dr. Leonard H. McCoy AKA “Bones” and  Dr. Leonard H. McCoy            James Doohan  as Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott AKA “Scotty”  and Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott       George Takei  as Lieutenant  Hikaru Sulu and Lieutenant  Hikaru Sulu             Nichelle Nichols as Lieutenant Nyota Uhura and Lieutenant Nyota Uhura        John Winston as  Lieutenant Kyle and Lieutenant Kyle            Eddie Paskey as Lieutenant Leslie and  Lieutenant Leslie                Bill Blackburn as Lieutenant Hadley and Lieutenant Hadley         BarBara Luna as Lieutenant Marlena Moreau and Lieutenant Marlena  Moreau        Roger Holloway as Lt. Lemli and  Lt. Lemli                       Walter Koenig as Ensign Pavel Chekov and Ensign Pavel Chekov     Pete Kellett as Head of Kirk’s guard unnamed                Bobby Bass as unnamed imperial crewman          Bobby Clark as  unnamed imperial crewman          Johnny Mandell as  unnamed imperial crewman               Russ Peek as Spock's Vulcan Guard unnamed      Paul Prokop as unnamed imperial crewman                Vic Perrin as Tharn and Tharn        

Ships: USS Enterprise NCC-1701 and ISS Enterprise NCC-1701

Planets:  Halka and Halka

My Spoiler filled summary and review: Mostly I write these reviews by myself but today I have the opportunity, seeing that this is “Mirror, Mirror,” to work with my own mirror universe counterpart who I met after an accident involving my microwave.  (It turns out in the real world you can breach to the mirror universe using microwaves.)  We have agreed that each will cover the parts that take place in our respective universes.  We will both be offering commentary in the additional thoughts section.  Be warned I find my mirror self to kind of a creep but if you can’t get along with yourself who can you get along with in that universe? 

                The episode begins with Captain Kirk trying and failing to win a mining agreement with the Halkan High Council.  The Halkan are extreme pacifists and they are afraid that if they let the Federation mine dilithium crystals those crystals could be used for war.  Captain Kirk, along with his landing party of Dr. McCoy, Mr. Scott, and Lt. Uhura, has been trying to convince the High Council that their missions are peaceful.   The Halkans agree that Starfleet has peaceful intentions but their ships still carry weapons that can be used for war.  It would be a betrayal of their principals as a people to be party to any violence even if it was justified violence made in self-defense.

                While these negotiations have been going on a severe ion storm in space is playing havoc with the Enterprise’s equipment.  The Captain sees that these negotiations are going nowhere so he calls up to the ship to have the landing party beam back aboard.  As they are transported back to the ship something goes wrong.  Those transporting feel dizzy and the transporter room appears to change to them.

                I was looking forward to watching the Enterprise wipe out this pathetic group of loser pacifists, but when our most glorious Captain emerges from the transporter something is immediately wrong.  Kirk and the landing party seem confused that everyone is saluting him.  After Spock gives Kyle a taste of his agonizer for his gross incompetence with a transporter (it was so fun to see him cry and beg) the First Officer notices something is wrong with the Captain.  When he inquires Kirk confirms dizziness and will have Dr. McCoy check them out in sickbay.   

                

               When they get to sickbay we find out what is wrong.  These four are fakes!  They are duplicates from a parallel universe where Earth is run by peaceful weaklings and humans have no Terran Empire to dominate the galaxy with!  Yet in this universe of weaklings McCoy still manages to spill acid in the same place. The Fake Kirk wants to know what the Empire wants the real Kirk to do.  One thing is clear they want to stop the crew of the ISS Enterprise from carrying out their mission and destroying the cities of Halka.  They are doing this because their Federation teaches them that it is okay for lesser spices to deny them.  (As if that was the way any universe works.) He sends Fake Scott on assignment to sabotage the phaser units.  Little does he know that Mr. Sulu’s security doesn’t let anyone mess with the ship’s weapons.  

Mice in the uniforms of giants!

       

Of all the fakes, Lt. Uhura is the only one who seems like she is worth a damn.  The way she put Sulu in his place would sure make the real Uhura proud.  Then unfortunately the fake Kirk enters the bridge and everyone salutes thinking he is their great leader.   However the fake Kirk soon shows his weakness with dealing with the cowards on the surface.  Instead of reigning good Terran Imperial hell upon Halka he actually tries to prevent the Empire’s mission.  For those of us expecting to see worthless pacifists fry in this episode we were plenty disappointed.   I thought when the fake Scott couldn’t sabotage the engines the Halkans were done for. 

Showing proper respect to the Captain

For this action Chekov gathers some men to attempt to assassinate Kirk, he has been planning this for some time, but he doesn’t know this isn’t the real Kirk.  That should make it easier but Chekov is such a loser that he can’t kill this imposter.  Chekov gets captured by Kirk’s guard and one of his own men betrays him realizing what Kirk could do for his career.   At least fake Kirk handles that right: loyalty isn’t much when it comes late.  Speaking of this fake Kirk, he does give Captain’s logs at the strangest of times.  No mention where is he recording them, our Enterprise’s computer system?   Imperial auditors will have a field day with those reviews. 

The fakes all have a meeting in Kirk’s quarters. Since they aren’t smart enough to figure out things for themselves they have the computer do all the hard work of explaining how they got to our universe and how to get back to their own.  After they make plans to head back the fake Kirk and McCoy decide to do research on “themselves” and what is immediately obvious is that fake Kirk cannot deal with the real Kirk’s greatness.   They wonder about their own weak universe and how they will handle the great Terran warriors. 

Back in our sane Star Trek universe Mr. Spock has things well in hand.  All four crew members from the evil mirror universe are quickly placed in the brig.  The alternate Kirk tries to bribe Spock with money and power.  It is quite creepy to see a version of Captain Kirk who murdered his predecessor to gain his command. 

As fake Kirk witnesses that loser Chekov being justly tortured by the Captain’s Personal Guard, he is approached by our Mr. Spock.  Spock sees Kirk act weak by releasing Chekov from the full duration of “the Booth.”  Spock expresses his concerns about the Captain’s action in not following the Empire's righteous policy.  I liked the conversation between him and Spock, but I wish Spock were saying it to the real Kirk.

Spock thinking he is talking to his captain

Fake Kirk enters the Captain’s quarters and Lt. Marlena Moreau is there waiting for him.  Fake Kirk seems surprised because apparently this Kirk doesn’t sleep with women in his universe.  Kirk and Marlena have a bit of a lovers spat, which is pathetic as he is not the real Kirk.  Fake Kirk receives a call from Spock who informs him that Starfleet has ordered him to be executed if he doesn’t end his cowardice in three hours.  Marlena laughs as she observes that Spock was so loyal it will cost him his life.  Then Marlena explains to the fake Kirk the Tantalus field, the greatest weapon of Starfleet’s greatest captain.   Fake Kirk stops her from using it on Spock, which is the only good thing Fake Kirk does.   

Marlena goes to another room to change and Fake Kirk is contacted by Fake Scotty, Kirk tells him they have a three hour deadline and the chief engineer responds with actually a half an hour.   They have one shot to get home and if they miss it they’re done for.   For the first time I am cheering for the fakes I can’t stand to deal weakling characters anymore it is time to send them home. 

Sulu contacts Spock excited to get rid of Kirk who is now openly a coward.   It is too bad that Sulu doesn’t understand that this isn’t the real Kirk.  Spock blows Sulu off and the two exchange small threats.  Spock is however beginning to suspect that something is up beyond just Kirk disobeying orders.  He notices Kirk is not the only crew member behaving oddly, the strange behavior is displayed by almost every member of the landing party.  He also discovers that Kirk and Scotty are working together on a project in secret. 

Fake Kirk has never seen such beauty

The fake Scotty and McCoy are making their adjustments to the Enterprise’s systems in order to make their escape.  While they are doing this Uhura, the only fake worth anything, begins seducing Sulu so he won’t see what has happened.  When they are done she slaps him and uses her dagger to get away from him and off the bridge.  

The group of fakes meets up in sickbay but they are surprised by Mr. Spock.  The fakes may have the hearts of cowards but they can fight.  They manage to not only defeat Spock but seriously injure him in the process.  This is the price Spock pays for not bringing his Personal Guard and trying to solve everything himself.  I always knew he would pay for that one day but he is saved by his enemy’s weakness.  Realizing Spock will die unless they do something, they decide to risk returning home in order to save him. 

Sulu looking to take command

While the fakes are trying to save Spock, Sulu shows up with the security team looking to kill them all and make himself Captain of the Enterprise.  He might have succeeded if Marlena Moreau hadn’t chosen now to strike.  With his men disappearing into thin air the fakes take Mr. Sulu down easy.  The fake McCoy remains to take care of Spock while the others head to the transporter room. Marlena meets them there and lets them know that she is also a coward and wants to leave with them. Fake Kirk  tells her that is not possible for only the four can change places with their real selves.

Spock trading losers for warriors

 Spock wakes to fine that the fakes are weaklings who grant mercy.  He does a force meld on McCoy and the fake learns what a Spock interrogation feels like.  Spock cuts the power to the transporter which scares the fakes and the fake Scotty and Kirk argue of who should sacrifice himself to the stronger universe.  Mr. Spock arrives at the transporter to help the fakes leave our universe and get our heroes back.  Before he leaves fake Kirk gives a stupid speech, Mr. Spock tries to tell him his idea is dumb but gives up. 

Back home in our regular universe Kirk and McCoy muse with Spock listening that they may have preferred Spock with a beard.  They asked him how he was able to see through the doppelgangers and Spock says it was easier for the civilized to appear savage then the savage to appear civilized.  However he did feel that their counterparts represented at type of pure humanity that was most refreshing. 

Additional thoughts: Wow what an episode!  Sorry for those of you who don’t like my mirror universe self.  To be frank, I don’t like him either.  He is a piece of work and he will be back but I want to reflect on the episode myself and give everyone my thoughts.

Setting a Mr. Sulu for a fall

My first thought is about those wacky transporter accidents.  If there is a little thing wrong such as strange yellow dust the transporter it splits the Captain into two different people.  This time passing through an ion storm causes a malfunction that makes the away team gets transported into a parallel universe.  Not only do they get transported to the parallel universe but their clothes don’t, those still head home to their proper destination.  However, rather than leave them naked the away team is conveniently placed by the transporter into the clothes of their doppelgangers.  This also happens vise-versa.     

Mirror Spock sitting next to the throne

Speaking of clothes I really like the mirror universe uniforms they look really cool with their belts and ceremonial daggers.  Good idea having all their badges appear on the other side.  The women are really sexy, I don’t know if there is a man on this Earth who enjoys the exposed mid-rift on attractive woman more than myself.  It’s lot of skin but at the same time no naughty bits.  Uhura and Moreau are really rocking it.  

Wow!

We now have returned the same strange Captain’s Logs that we saw in “The Squire of Gothos” during the duel scene and almost all throughout “The Arena.”  “Excuse me Mr. Chekov before you assassinate me you will please allow a moment record my thoughts in a Captain’s Log?”  Also, as my counter-part pointed out, where is he recording these things, in the computer system of the ISS Enterprise?  Imperial Starfleet Command must have had quite the shock when they audit those logs.

"You want to get cut"

I have stated in the past that when I review these episodes I try not to take into consideration what comes later, because I want to review the episode in its own merits not judge what future writers add.  However I will note that I think it’s an absolute shame that Star Trek: The Next Generation never had a Mirror Universe episode.  There was of course there was that great book by Diane Duane, but really wish that had been a multi-part episode.  Episodes we do get in the later series are okay but most fail to truly embrace that magic that this episode provided.

What this episode gave us was not just the run of the mill parallel universe but a mirror universe.  However the mirror being used is not regular one but one from a fun-house.  In one universe humanity is united and peacefully co-exists with other worlds under the banner of The United Federation of Planets, where in the other humanity is still united but violently conquerors worlds into their oppressive Terran Empire.  Such differences and similarities that exist between the Federation and the Empire can’t be explained by simple alternate history.

For example when a drugged up Dr. McCoy accidentally goes back in time in “The City on the Edge of Forever” he alters history in such a way that the landing party near the Guardian of Forever is marooned as the universe around them changes.  In the universe where Hitler won World War II there was a never Federation, Starfleet, or starship Enterprise.  Yet in mirror universe although everything is different everything is also the same.  Captain Kirk is still the Captain of the Enterprise, Mr. Spock is the first officer, and McCoy, Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura are all in the same positions in both realities. There is a slight change with Mr. Sulu as having the additional job of being head of the ship’s Gestapo.  However even the transporter chief is the same and Captain Kirk’s predecessor on both universes is Captain Pike.  Also both Pike’s careers meet rather violent ends, although ours doesn’t die.

Besides people there are other things.  Scotty notices that in both universes the Enterprise has the same level of technology; the only difference is the mirror Kirk’s primary weapon the Tantalus field, which isn’t even Terran technology.  (Speaking of which, shouldn't mirror Kirk have a lock or password on that device?  It seems strange he would allow it to be used by anyone who could find it.)  The two starships are on the exact same mission at the exact same time.  Other missions seem also identical with exceptions to Imperial brutality.  The spot where Dr. McCoy spilled acid happened in exact same place in both universes.  When they are trying to go home at no point are they able to communicate with our universe and tell them what the plan is.  It just develops on the other side naturally.   Just as our landing party is coming home, our Mr. Spock is there to help send the other party back.

Another important part I would like to make before my counterpart takes back over.   In the mirror universe, as it is presented in this episode, only the humans/terrans are different.  The Halkans are exactly the same in both universes: pacifists who will die before aiding terrorists but would also not help like-minded peaceful people because they may use violence in self-defense.   The characters of Mr. Spock are both identical the only difference is the mirror Spock is doing his best to survive and prosper in this horrific environment created by the Terran Empire.   

From a different universe

“Mirror, Mirror” has long regarded as one of, if not the, worst episode of the franchise. It was banned almost immediately after it aired.  I had to get special permission to view it and now that I have seen it I almost wish I hadn’t.  Impostors from a non-imperialist universe show up and outwit the officers of the Emperor’s finest starship?   Seeing it for myself I have to say that I don’t blame Roddenberry for having Gene L. Coon and Jerome Bixby shot one month after the episode’s first and last showing.

I can think of no greater betrayal of Roddenberry’s vision than this episode.  One has to go back to where we were in the 1960s.  After Emperor John I of House Kennedy destroyed Cuba after the Bay of the Pigs with the new sub-nuclear weaponry (all the fire power but none of the background radiation) and allowing Turkey to invade the Ukraine, the power of the Soviet Union was broken and humiliated on the world stage.  These early victories showed the world that best power on Earth was Imperial States of the American Empire. 

Then out of almost nowhere a TV writer showed up with a dream.  In the past science fiction always showed aliens conquering the Earth’s people until one powerful empire purged itself of weakness and made them leave.  Roddenberry had a different idea: imagine an Empire like ours that unified the Earth and brought our special brand of fascism to the stars.  Thus the show Star Conquerors was born and the world was never the same. 

This loser couldn't kill a fake Kirk

The worst part of this episode was the fake Kirk trying to talk Spock into betraying his Captain.  See this episode in a vacuum makes you think he might do it.  However the title says “Star Conquerors starring William Shatner” the Captain isn’t going anywhere.  We have this season and the next to finish before making cartoons and six great films.  After “Star Conquerors VI: The Discovered Country” a film that was made to celebrate our final conquest of the Soviet Union under the combined military leadership of Field Marshall Ronald Reagan and Fleet Admiral George H.W. Bush, Emperor John I himself said that we owe a special thanks to show Star Conquerors and if Emperor Abraham of House Lincoln hadn’t unified North America in the 19^th century we might not have William Shatner to play James T. Kirk.  William Shatner lives in what was once Canada, now just the Canadian region.    

Watching a worm squirm 

The only good thing that came out of this episode was I got to find out the in canon reason for Chekov’s execution and stuffing of his remains in the next episode.  Chekov was always there to show how useless Russians were but having his body stuffed and on display did that far better than when he was alive.  After the final Klingon surrender in “The Discovered County” it was funny to see stuffed Chekov in the room where the surrender was being signed.  Star Conquerors is always great for metaphor.

In closing the mirror universe is a scary place.

FINAL GRADE 5 of 5

FINAL JUDGEMENT 0 OF 10